Fuel
by Soul Reaver
Summary: Yet another act of the GI Joe Talent Show. One of BA's recipes and Barbeque's act collide with 'explosive' results....


Fuel  
  
Disclaimer: I own neither Metallica nor GI Joe.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"The next act for the GI Joe Talent Show is Fuel by Barbeque." Hawk announced, "And please try to keep the destruction down this time, we're already having to replace half the Auditorium.  
  
A lot of glaring faces looked at Leatherneck and Wet Suit for their acts (Mentioned in The Lion Sleeps Tonight and Stand By Me).  
  
"What, Roadblock's act caused as much destruction." Wet Suit replied.  
  
"Let's not forget Shipwreck's act!" Leatherneck shouted.  
  
"And what about Cobra Commander's.." Wet Suit added.  
  
Hawk went pale, "Call the Army Times, Leatherneck and Wet Suit actually agreed on something.Take it away Barbeque." "Yes sir." Barbeque replied, getting on stage with a flamethrower/electric guitar combination as Hawk's complexion continued to go pale, "Gimmie fuel. Gimmie fire. Gimmie that which I desire. Ooh."  
  
"Turn on, I see red. Adrenaline crash and crack my head. Nitro junkie paint me dead." Barbeque continues dancing about the stage and sprays napalm onto a series of propane tanks he wired behind him.  
  
"One hundred plus through black and white. War horse. Warhead. Fuck 'em man, white knuckle tight." Barbeque keeps singing and accidentally sets Beach Head's butt on fire. "OWWW!!! HOT BUNS! HOT BUNS!!" Beach Head shouts, jumping through the aisles and across the stage, rolling on the ground trying to extinguish the flames.  
  
"Ooh. On I burn. Fuel is pumping engines. Burning hard, loose and clean. And on I burn.  
  
Churning my direction. Quench my thirst with gasoline." Barbeque continues lighting things on fire at random as he sings.  
  
"Gimmie fuel. Gimmie fire. Gimmie that which I desire." Barbeque continues and sets fire to one of BA's new soufflés.  
  
BA looks at his flaming soufflé, "Ah, Dinner is served Joes, BA's Souffle, A la Flambe." As he speaks he is walking through the aisles with a burning soufflé dish. "Turn on beyond the bone. Swallow future. Spit out home. Burn your face upon the chrome." Barbeque continues singing. He sets fire to a few more soufflé dishes that BA has on carts in the Auditorium. "Hawk, couldn't you have paid a caterer, I mean we already have to put up with BA's cooking in the mess hall." Shipwreck whined. "I was but the last few acts caused a little too much damage to the auditorium." Hawk replied. "Thanks guys.Now we have to eat BA's recipe. What's in this stuff anyway?" Shipwreck asks.  
  
"Take the corner, join the crash. Head lights. Headlines. Another junkie lives too fast. Lives way too fast. Fast, fast, ooh whoa." Barbeque continues singing.  
  
"Ooh. On I burn. Fuel is pumping engines. Burning hard, loose and clean. And on I burn.  
  
Churning my direction. Quench my thirst with gasoline." Barbeque keeps on strumming along, as BA holds up more soufflés in front of the flamethrower, "Gimmie fuel. Gimmie fire. Gimmie that which I desire." Barbeque keeps strumming away, dancing through the air, "White knuckle tight."  
  
"Gimmie fuel, gimmie fire, my desire." Beach Head leaps into a barrel of liquid to extinguish his burning buttocks, he fails to realize he just jumped into a vat full of jet fuel. The fuel explodes and launches Beach Head into the air and sends him plummeting into the middle of a manure pile. "Ouch." Beach Head croaks before passing out.  
  
"Ooh. On I burn. Fuel is pumping engines. Burning hard, loose and clean. And on I burn.  
  
Churning my direction. Quench my thirst with gasoline." Barbeque keeps on singing, "Gimmie fuel. Gimmie fire. Gimmie that which I desire. Ooh."  
  
"BA, what's in this stuff?" Hawk asks as a couple soufflés suddenly explode. "Oh that's easy, flour, yeast, dynamite." BA says. "WHAT?" Hawk asks.  
  
"Well the store was out of nitro so I got dynamite instead." BA replied nonchalantly. "You got what!?" Hawk asks just as every soufflé explodes simultaneously, the doug extinguishes the fires but splatters several Joes with BA Souffle A la Flambe.  
  
"On I burn." Barbeque continues in front of a completely wrecked Auditorium. ~ ~ ~ ~ Hawk: SR, how many more acts are there in the GI Joe Talent Show? SR: No idea sir, but all I know is there's gonna be more madness, chaos, destruction and explosions. Hawk: Oh great... 


End file.
